A Psalm For A Son

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In this season, I find myself reflecting on my son, Elisha’s death. The tears and pain remain, but they have ceased to control my Life. I wrote Elisha’s Psalm several months after his death. Please join me in my reflections.

Elisha’s Psalm

As lightning flashes east to the west,
so too has the first fruit of our love fallen, long before its season.
The unthinkable makes our hearts its habitation, reason, and understanding flee.

He who first opened the womb has been torn from our arms.
With a stunned mind and crushed heart, I rage: How dare you, how could you? Why, Daddy, why?
Yet still, from deep in my being, the Spirit groans,
“Father, make me run to you, not from you.”

Elisha, my son, I beg you to forgive me for failing you in life while you were in my care. None save our Most High God knew the depths of your illness.

To end my nightmare, will I fail you in death as well?
Calling you back from the very arms of your Maker?
To heal my ruined soul, dare I steal you from the bosom of Jesus Himself?
Shall I rob you of your place in Paradise?
Father, make me run to you, not from you.

Elisha my first, my precious son, my joy, my treasure.
Had I known the hand of The Almighty was already extended to you,
had I known that Jesus waited to carry you home,
I would have held my last kiss to your soft warm cheek forever.

Your face is eternally before me, all the days of your life written in my heart, your memory I carry with me now and always.
I Pray, Lord, Father, Daddy, make run to you, not from you.